top of page

The Direct Connection Between Children's Feelings and Behavior:

Title: The Direct Connection Between Children's Feelings and Behavior: The Importance of Accepting Their Feelings


The behavior of children is often a reflection of their emotional state. When children feel right, they tend to behave right. One of the keys to helping children feel right is to accept their feelings. Unfortunately, many parents inadvertently deny or dismiss their children's emotions, leading to confusion, anger, and mistrust. Parents need to become aware of their reactions to their children's feelings and strive to create an environment of emotional validation.

Understanding the Connection Between Feelings and Behavior

Children who feel understood and accepted are more likely to display appropriate behavior. This is because their emotional needs are being met, and they can focus on exploring and learning from their environment. Conversely, when children's feelings are dismissed or invalidated, they may become frustrated and act out in various ways. This can manifest as tantrums, defiance, or withdrawal, making it difficult for parents to manage their behavior.

Denial of Feelings: A Common Parental Mistake

Parents often unintentionally deny their children's feelings, not realizing the impact they can have on the child's emotional well-being. Examples of denying a child's feelings include saying things like, "You don't really feel that way," or "There's no reason to be so upset." This ongoing denial of feelings can confuse and enrage children, teaching them not to trust their emotions.

Becoming Aware of Our Reactions

The first step towards validating our children's feelings is becoming aware of our reactions. We may only realize how often we dismiss our child's feelings once we start paying attention. The sample conversations mentioned in the introduction exemplify how easily we can overlook a child's feelings without realizing their negative impact on their emotional well-being and behavior.

Accepting Children's Feelings: The Path to Better Behavior

To help our children feel right and behave right, we must get and validate their feelings. Here are some steps parents can take to achieve this:

  1. Listen: Pay attention to what your child is expressing verbally and non-verbally. Please make an effort to understand their emotions without judgment or bias.

  2. Empathize: Put yourself in your child's shoes and try to imagine their feelings. This will help you understand the root of their emotions and respond with compassion.

  3. Validate: Acknowledge your child's emotions and let them know it's okay to feel like they do. For example, "I can understand why you would feel upset about that."

  4. Offer support: Offer comfort and reassurance to your child. Let them know you are there for them and will help them navigate their emotions.

  5. Encourage problem-solving: Once your child's feelings have been acknowledged and validated, help them find ways to cope with or resolve the situation.


Accepting and validating our children's feelings is crucial in fostering a healthy emotional environment and promoting better behavior. By becoming more aware of our reactions and validating our children's emotions, we can create a strong foundation for their emotional well-being and development.

0 views0 comments


bottom of page